When we start meditating or practicing centering or contemplative prayer, it seems like our minds want to think about every single thing, and our bodies to do anything but sit still. Our mind runs and runs and runs without any destination until we are exhausted. And our body wants to jump out of its skin.When deciding to create a garden, we confront a barren yard, poor soil, the poor sunlight on that patch, too many rocks, the overgrown thicket or forest. Lack of water. Nobody stumbles upon a perfect garden.
You of course want a nice garden but things get in the way. You never have enough time. Or you find out it's more work than you thought it would be. Or the flowers or vegetables don't do as well as you'd hoped. Or you are uncomfortable squatting in the dirt or kneeling. Or you go away on vacation and forget to have the garden watered. Or the kids interrupt you. It is 10000 reasons.
The same is with a meditation practice. You can see your nice meditation practice. But all this hard work - and sitting is hard work - seems, well, too hard. Especially all the weeding.
I don't know anyone that likes weeding. But I don't know a garden that doesn't need it all the time!
In meditation, we always must weed our practice. The meditation garden may become very strong, healthy, astonishing and elegant. But no matter how good - it still needs weeding. All those pesky little thoughts, digressions and fantasies we have on our cushions or chairs or knees, however, we practice, are weeds. No garden stays weed free and neither does our practice.
Just as we must constantly weed our flower or vegetable garden, we will always have to weed our practice. Moment by moment, we pull them from our garden, not because they are bad but because they don't help us. Of course, your weed is my flower. All our practices are different yet the same. This is why regular practice yields results. If you are constantly weeding, you will find very few weeds from day to day. But don't weed for a week or two and, holy cow, the garden is taken over!
Accept that you will never attain a weed free garden. Let go of your notion of purity and perfection and just be always patiently weeding. So don't be discouraged that you are always weeding, be glad!
The weeding itself is attainment.
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(HT: Inside the Grass Hut: Living Shitou's Classic Zen Poem - Ben Connelly which inspired this post)
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